Addiction

How do you know you are addicted to something? What does it take to be addicted? Can you be addicted and not know it?

I had surgery done on the 16th of this month on my neck. One of the things the Doctor told me was to make sure I took my medication for the neck pain I would have for the next few days. The Doctor also told me that I was to see her in 3 weeks after the surgery took place.

I came home and started taking the medication. Usually I am very aware of the meds I take and I will normally undermedicate myself since I know I can stand a little bit of pain and not have the meds completely cover the pain I am feeling. I was able to take the pill, if I wanted, every 4 hours and could take one or two at a time. I chose to take one pill at a time and would only take them in the evening and night while I was trying to sleep. During the day I would do whatever and not take meds. This meant I was taking 3 to 4 per day and Monday was the 11th day from surgery. I have taken about 40 pills in that time.

I was wanting to take my pills the other morning and noticed I was down to 2 more left and would need to call the doctor for a refill. I did call and asked for the refill but when I got off of the phone I didn't feel right asking for the pain meds. I started wondering if I was addicted and if I really needed them. I started counting the days and really looked at how I was doing after 11 days from the surgery. I was really wanting the pills. The information says not to just go cold turkey off of the pills either. Now I have made a mistake and how was I going to deal with this. I was addicted to pain meds.

The doctor did call in my prescription and now it is up to me to get off of the pills. I am going to withdraw myself and try to do one pill at night and then just stop or take a half and then quit. My appointment with her is on the 5th and I will be off of these by then. Give me a few more days.

Overall I am doing well. My neck still does not have the motion I want but I will get it by the time I go in to see my physician. If not then I will work with the Physical Therapy department. This is better than what I was doing.

I am going to try and play some poker on Friday afternoon. This will be a tournament. I have been playing my Wii poker and it is not the same. I like real live people to play against. And since I can't play on PS or FT anymore in WA state then I have to make do with what I have.