The end of 2010 is upon us and we are now getting started to look forward to the new year. I hope it will be a better year all around for everyone.
I don't like to put up resolutions about what I want to do in the new year. I will post some goals I would like to meet though. I think goals are better and more achievable for me.
Be safe tonight.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Addiction
How do you know you are addicted to something? What does it take to be addicted? Can you be addicted and not know it?
I had surgery done on the 16th of this month on my neck. One of the things the Doctor told me was to make sure I took my medication for the neck pain I would have for the next few days. The Doctor also told me that I was to see her in 3 weeks after the surgery took place.
I came home and started taking the medication. Usually I am very aware of the meds I take and I will normally undermedicate myself since I know I can stand a little bit of pain and not have the meds completely cover the pain I am feeling. I was able to take the pill, if I wanted, every 4 hours and could take one or two at a time. I chose to take one pill at a time and would only take them in the evening and night while I was trying to sleep. During the day I would do whatever and not take meds. This meant I was taking 3 to 4 per day and Monday was the 11th day from surgery. I have taken about 40 pills in that time.
I was wanting to take my pills the other morning and noticed I was down to 2 more left and would need to call the doctor for a refill. I did call and asked for the refill but when I got off of the phone I didn't feel right asking for the pain meds. I started wondering if I was addicted and if I really needed them. I started counting the days and really looked at how I was doing after 11 days from the surgery. I was really wanting the pills. The information says not to just go cold turkey off of the pills either. Now I have made a mistake and how was I going to deal with this. I was addicted to pain meds.
The doctor did call in my prescription and now it is up to me to get off of the pills. I am going to withdraw myself and try to do one pill at night and then just stop or take a half and then quit. My appointment with her is on the 5th and I will be off of these by then. Give me a few more days.
Overall I am doing well. My neck still does not have the motion I want but I will get it by the time I go in to see my physician. If not then I will work with the Physical Therapy department. This is better than what I was doing.
I am going to try and play some poker on Friday afternoon. This will be a tournament. I have been playing my Wii poker and it is not the same. I like real live people to play against. And since I can't play on PS or FT anymore in WA state then I have to make do with what I have.
I had surgery done on the 16th of this month on my neck. One of the things the Doctor told me was to make sure I took my medication for the neck pain I would have for the next few days. The Doctor also told me that I was to see her in 3 weeks after the surgery took place.
I came home and started taking the medication. Usually I am very aware of the meds I take and I will normally undermedicate myself since I know I can stand a little bit of pain and not have the meds completely cover the pain I am feeling. I was able to take the pill, if I wanted, every 4 hours and could take one or two at a time. I chose to take one pill at a time and would only take them in the evening and night while I was trying to sleep. During the day I would do whatever and not take meds. This meant I was taking 3 to 4 per day and Monday was the 11th day from surgery. I have taken about 40 pills in that time.
I was wanting to take my pills the other morning and noticed I was down to 2 more left and would need to call the doctor for a refill. I did call and asked for the refill but when I got off of the phone I didn't feel right asking for the pain meds. I started wondering if I was addicted and if I really needed them. I started counting the days and really looked at how I was doing after 11 days from the surgery. I was really wanting the pills. The information says not to just go cold turkey off of the pills either. Now I have made a mistake and how was I going to deal with this. I was addicted to pain meds.
The doctor did call in my prescription and now it is up to me to get off of the pills. I am going to withdraw myself and try to do one pill at night and then just stop or take a half and then quit. My appointment with her is on the 5th and I will be off of these by then. Give me a few more days.
Overall I am doing well. My neck still does not have the motion I want but I will get it by the time I go in to see my physician. If not then I will work with the Physical Therapy department. This is better than what I was doing.
I am going to try and play some poker on Friday afternoon. This will be a tournament. I have been playing my Wii poker and it is not the same. I like real live people to play against. And since I can't play on PS or FT anymore in WA state then I have to make do with what I have.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas 2010
I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
The Year 2011 will be here soon and will bring new surpises for us all.
The Year 2011 will be here soon and will bring new surpises for us all.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Christmas
What is Christmas? What does it mean to you? It means something different for each person. You ask a child and then ask an adult and you will get two different answers. Are they wrong? No, each person will celebrate in the way they were raised or what they believe.
For me I do not like the commercialization of christmas. For years I have stopped shopping in the stores the day after thanksgiving. People turn rude and don't care about the next person as they only want to get to the item first at all cost. This has solved a lot of my feelings for christmas. I have taken care of it by not shopping. Now that leaves the shopping for my wife and that doesn't seem right either. She has accepted this and does well.
Ok, back to Christmas. What is Christmas? It is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Whether you believe this or not that is what christmas is about. Somewhere we have forgotten this. I think it would be more enjoyable to help other families have a good christmas. Hence, the giving part of the year. I used to do something for families for Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Now that I have lost the job this last year I am unable to carry on with what I set out to do. Maybe this next year I can start up again.
This year think about Christmas and what it means to you and do what your heart tells you to do.
Myself, maybe a job working in the giving areas.
Merry Christmas
For me I do not like the commercialization of christmas. For years I have stopped shopping in the stores the day after thanksgiving. People turn rude and don't care about the next person as they only want to get to the item first at all cost. This has solved a lot of my feelings for christmas. I have taken care of it by not shopping. Now that leaves the shopping for my wife and that doesn't seem right either. She has accepted this and does well.
Ok, back to Christmas. What is Christmas? It is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Whether you believe this or not that is what christmas is about. Somewhere we have forgotten this. I think it would be more enjoyable to help other families have a good christmas. Hence, the giving part of the year. I used to do something for families for Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Now that I have lost the job this last year I am unable to carry on with what I set out to do. Maybe this next year I can start up again.
This year think about Christmas and what it means to you and do what your heart tells you to do.
Myself, maybe a job working in the giving areas.
Merry Christmas
Friday, December 17, 2010
Surgery Completed
Today is the day after. The surgery went well and I spent one night in the hospital. I am now home and in some pain. I will be taking my medication and trying to rest and get the pain to slow down. It is nice to be able to move my arm around and not have the pain.
I did get some extra on this surgery as well. The doctor told me that this surgery would last 2 hours. It actually lasted about 3 hours. When she got in there she noticed that the disk was breaking apart and floating around. She had to clean out the area to be able to fix it. So another extra on the surgery.
I must say I am very tired and I want to make sure I don't catch pneumonia. I was intubated during the surgery and I have been coughing up some scretions. My esophagus and trachea are very sore from having to be moved aside to allow the work to be done on the spine. Today the incision area is being painful as well. Everything starting to catch up with me so I will be on meds for about 2 weeks until this settles down. As I think of things to write about I will do that. I am anxious to get back to playing poker. I can sit at the table now.
Have a good weekend.
I did get some extra on this surgery as well. The doctor told me that this surgery would last 2 hours. It actually lasted about 3 hours. When she got in there she noticed that the disk was breaking apart and floating around. She had to clean out the area to be able to fix it. So another extra on the surgery.
I must say I am very tired and I want to make sure I don't catch pneumonia. I was intubated during the surgery and I have been coughing up some scretions. My esophagus and trachea are very sore from having to be moved aside to allow the work to be done on the spine. Today the incision area is being painful as well. Everything starting to catch up with me so I will be on meds for about 2 weeks until this settles down. As I think of things to write about I will do that. I am anxious to get back to playing poker. I can sit at the table now.
Have a good weekend.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Day Before
I can remember as a kid the "The Day Before". It was the time that we were going somewhere or doing something that was going to be fun or important as a child. The feeling of excitement you felt and you wanted the time to hurry up and get there. Hurry up time, tomorrow is the last day of school! Hurry up time, tomorrow is graduation! Hurry up time, tomorrow is the wedding! Do you remember those days?
Now that I am older it seems to be the other way now. Even though I would like time to hurry I really don't want time to go too fast. Now I am concerned with the future and what it brings.
Today is "The Day Before" my surgery that I have been looking for for some time. I have been in pain now since August and the decision now to go and fix this issue has now come time. I spent my time in getting the CT's, the X-Rays and doing the Physical Therapy. I did have the injection done to see if the steroid would help the spine and get the nerve to settle down. The decision was then made that we have done all of what could be done and it was time to let the surgeon take care of this.
Then why do I feel glad that it will be done and then on the other side I am very nervous and, I don't want to say scared, but vulnerable. This will be my 3rd actual surgery and will be the longest under anaesthesia.
The first time I had surgery was my foot. The doctor went in and replaced a joint in my toe to help me be pain free. Well, it didn't help and I still have pain in that joint. He said that when he was working on the joint that he had to spend some extra time taking care of some stuff around the joint area. I don't think I felt so vulnerable for that one. It was my first time in the operating room but I felt good about the time going in.
The second time was, I guess, considered a minor surgery procedure. I had a Kidney Stone that would not pass and the doctor had to go in and break it up so it would pass. I did have to spend some hospital time and that was fine. The doctor told me that he found an extra problem and that took him some extra time but he was unable to fix and will leave that for another surgery. That still has not been taken care of and I don't know if it will be done. Dealing with the Prostate won't be a good thing for me.
This now will be the third surgery and will entail the surgeon making an incision in my neck and moving all of the important parts to get to the spine of C6 and C7. The doctor will be putting bone between the two and will put 4 screws in to hold a plate on both of them. I know this will remove the pain and the numbness I feel in my hand. I know this will make me feel better and get back to do the things I need and want to do. I will be able to sit in chairs and stand for periods of time without the pain in the shoulder and arm. I hopefully will be able to pick things up and hold what is dear to me. To be able to roll on my side and sleep the way I want.
Then why am I feeling so vulnerable? I might even use the word scared. Ok, I said it. Thoughts keep running through my mind. I will be intubated for this procedure because of where the doctor will be working. I guess I am worried because of the extra that always seems to pop up when the physician is working on my body. What will she find this time? Will I be fine? Will I have to spend extra time on the ventilator? Thoughts keep running.
Ok, here we are at the "The Day Before". I can't say there is excitement in the air but I do know it needs to be done. Today I will spend time preparing my mind to accept this and know on Thursday afternoon I will be in the hospital bed in my room and will be doing fine. That everything that has happened up to this point has been taken care of and was done correctly. I trust the surgeon and those around me. That is all I can do.
I am going back to bed to try and get some more sleep this morning. These are my thoughts on "The Day Before". I love my family and friends.
Now that I am older it seems to be the other way now. Even though I would like time to hurry I really don't want time to go too fast. Now I am concerned with the future and what it brings.
Today is "The Day Before" my surgery that I have been looking for for some time. I have been in pain now since August and the decision now to go and fix this issue has now come time. I spent my time in getting the CT's, the X-Rays and doing the Physical Therapy. I did have the injection done to see if the steroid would help the spine and get the nerve to settle down. The decision was then made that we have done all of what could be done and it was time to let the surgeon take care of this.
Then why do I feel glad that it will be done and then on the other side I am very nervous and, I don't want to say scared, but vulnerable. This will be my 3rd actual surgery and will be the longest under anaesthesia.
The first time I had surgery was my foot. The doctor went in and replaced a joint in my toe to help me be pain free. Well, it didn't help and I still have pain in that joint. He said that when he was working on the joint that he had to spend some extra time taking care of some stuff around the joint area. I don't think I felt so vulnerable for that one. It was my first time in the operating room but I felt good about the time going in.
The second time was, I guess, considered a minor surgery procedure. I had a Kidney Stone that would not pass and the doctor had to go in and break it up so it would pass. I did have to spend some hospital time and that was fine. The doctor told me that he found an extra problem and that took him some extra time but he was unable to fix and will leave that for another surgery. That still has not been taken care of and I don't know if it will be done. Dealing with the Prostate won't be a good thing for me.
This now will be the third surgery and will entail the surgeon making an incision in my neck and moving all of the important parts to get to the spine of C6 and C7. The doctor will be putting bone between the two and will put 4 screws in to hold a plate on both of them. I know this will remove the pain and the numbness I feel in my hand. I know this will make me feel better and get back to do the things I need and want to do. I will be able to sit in chairs and stand for periods of time without the pain in the shoulder and arm. I hopefully will be able to pick things up and hold what is dear to me. To be able to roll on my side and sleep the way I want.
Then why am I feeling so vulnerable? I might even use the word scared. Ok, I said it. Thoughts keep running through my mind. I will be intubated for this procedure because of where the doctor will be working. I guess I am worried because of the extra that always seems to pop up when the physician is working on my body. What will she find this time? Will I be fine? Will I have to spend extra time on the ventilator? Thoughts keep running.
Ok, here we are at the "The Day Before". I can't say there is excitement in the air but I do know it needs to be done. Today I will spend time preparing my mind to accept this and know on Thursday afternoon I will be in the hospital bed in my room and will be doing fine. That everything that has happened up to this point has been taken care of and was done correctly. I trust the surgeon and those around me. That is all I can do.
I am going back to bed to try and get some more sleep this morning. These are my thoughts on "The Day Before". I love my family and friends.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Off Time
I haven't written on the blog in over a week. A lot has been going on with me. I have been working with my parents and getting my Mom out of the hospital. I am getting ready to go into the hospital on Thursday. I will have surgery on my neck. I will have C6 and C7 fused and a plate will be attached to them. At this time my left fingers have basically gone numb. I have a hard time sitting in my chair at the desk so this will be short. I have been unable to sit for periods of time in a chair and so I haven't been able to play poker. I can't even study right now since the pain is unbearable at times. I will be back this next week.
Friday, December 03, 2010
Friday Tournament
Well, that didn't go very well. The one tournament I like to play and today I just couldn't get any cards.
I have a strategy I like to use for this tournament and it has always done well for me. Today it was my downfall. I think it had to do with the people at the table more than it did with the strategy. Every time I did try to play a hand I was either raised or called and the flop did me in after that. I had KK, QQ, 99, and 33's. Maybe I need to open my range just a little bit more.
I was in the the 300/600 blind round and had about T$6000 left. That would make it around 10BB's and time to go all in. I found the 33's and pushed. I was called with a person with A10 and the flop came 1010x. All I can say is not tonight.
This week I will hit the books again on tournament play to see what I could have done differently if anything. I will attempt to play the 2-20 cash game on Thursday night as well. Until then have a good weekend.
I have a strategy I like to use for this tournament and it has always done well for me. Today it was my downfall. I think it had to do with the people at the table more than it did with the strategy. Every time I did try to play a hand I was either raised or called and the flop did me in after that. I had KK, QQ, 99, and 33's. Maybe I need to open my range just a little bit more.
I was in the the 300/600 blind round and had about T$6000 left. That would make it around 10BB's and time to go all in. I found the 33's and pushed. I was called with a person with A10 and the flop came 1010x. All I can say is not tonight.
This week I will hit the books again on tournament play to see what I could have done differently if anything. I will attempt to play the 2-20 cash game on Thursday night as well. Until then have a good weekend.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Cash Game
It has been almost a whole week since I put something in this blog. This week has been really busy. My Mom was put in the hospital on Tuesday and was discharged on Wednesday. Spent Sunday night in the Emergency Department with Mom as well.
This evening I decided it was time to spend some time playing in the cash game at Jokers Casino. The product of not being able to play online. Anybody need a gas pumper. Need a job. The game was the 2-20 spread. I had some really good hands this evening. Quite a few pocket pairs that actually turned into something. I realize I need to play differently in a cash game and will adjust for the game.
The end of my night ended with 33 and the flop came KK3 and there were 6 players and I checked and the other five checked as well. The turn came 8 and everyone checked again. I really wanted someone to call. The river came Q. I bet and everyone folded. The player next to me folded a 3 with two pair. How could he not bet?
I ended the night in the positive with my limited bankroll and it was a good start. I will play in the tournament tomorrow at 3PM.
This evening I decided it was time to spend some time playing in the cash game at Jokers Casino. The product of not being able to play online. Anybody need a gas pumper. Need a job. The game was the 2-20 spread. I had some really good hands this evening. Quite a few pocket pairs that actually turned into something. I realize I need to play differently in a cash game and will adjust for the game.
The end of my night ended with 33 and the flop came KK3 and there were 6 players and I checked and the other five checked as well. The turn came 8 and everyone checked again. I really wanted someone to call. The river came Q. I bet and everyone folded. The player next to me folded a 3 with two pair. How could he not bet?
I ended the night in the positive with my limited bankroll and it was a good start. I will play in the tournament tomorrow at 3PM.
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