Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Virtual but Real

I keep saying this is more about playing poker than about my personal life. I guess there is more to me than just a person who deals and plays poker. I am a real person with everyday issues and I feel the only way for me to document where I am at in my life is to put some of it here in the blog so I don't forget what I am going through.

In everything I do I have good intentions. I say I will do something and I try to complete those items. Throughout my life I believe one of the issues I have is completing what I start.

When I was close to turning 30 I still did not have a direction in my life. I didn't know what I was going to do for my career path. I figured it would be in business somewhere and I tried doing that. It just wasn't going in the direction I was hoping for. I ended up going back to school and got into the Medical field. This was someone who stayed away from anything biology or chemistry in high school because I was headed to business.

Working in the medical field for 20 years was great. I was able to do different things and experience some things that I would never have done following the career path that I thought I was going to follow. I was able to push myself and became a Registered Therapist in my field. It made me feel like I finally achieved what I set out to do.

Now on my shoulder are two individuals. Positive and negative sit on my right and left shoulder telling me yes you can and the other telling me that you won't make it or you won't follow through. A lot of times I am very quiet about the things I do because I don't want someone to know if I made it or if I failed. It makes it easy to hide behind these two individuals.

One of my dreams is to ride a motorcycle across this beautiful country of ours. It is a bucket list item for sure. Something I don't think I will ever complete. In fact I still have the motorcycle endorsement on my drivers license and I haven't ridden a bike since the early 80's. Will I ever get the chance to complete it? I don't think so but it is a dream. My dream.

I visited the doctor the other day about my diabetic issues and I walked away very embarrased because I have let myself get to this point and I haven't done anything about it. Is it apathy or that negative person on my shoulder talking to me telling me I can't do anything about it anyway so why try. My dreams don't matter. No one "cares" right?

I was reading a letter put out by a person that just had heart surgery and he is getting ready to go on a journey to better himself. He is riding a bicycle cross country to Washington DC. Wow, he is doing that for himself and taking a sabbatical from his job as well. I thought that would be fun but then I have this negative person on my shoulder saying I can't do that. I am not fit to ride 3,000 miles. I just get tired of someone saying I can't make it or I can't do it. Maybe I should get rid of the shoulder.

Since I have a recumbent bike available and the itenerary for his bike ride with all the mileage and towns he is going to visit I decided to ride to Washington DC on my own. Virtual of course. This is something I can do and maybe I could make my physician happy again. Is this for him or for me? I guess I will have to find out when I see him again.

Ok, lets get this started. His first day has him travelling 99 miles. I started on Monday and as of today I am 49 miles into my trip. My goal is to get to my first destination by Friday. It will take me 5 days what it is taking him one day to complete. I hope to build stamina to ride the many miles I will need to complete this. I am not looking at the second day until I reach my first goal of 99 miles. Tell that negative shoulder to keep quiet and just pedal. Where is the positive shoulder when I need him.

All I can say is stay tuned for more. I wish I could tell you about the beautiful trees and mountains I could see on my trip but the bike is looking at a painted wall in our bedroom. I have to imagine in my mind the beauty of our country.

Nothing new with poker. Dealt a tournament today and then worked in the live game until it finally stopped. I continue to build my bankroll and need to continue playing the $2-$10 spread and be prepared to move up in levels.

Have a fun day......

No comments: